Victim survivors have encouraged us that in listening to their stories with empathy and openness, and in demonstrating our repentance through changed actions, we can go forward together toward healing.
Thank you to each one who has helped us to understand.
We are sorry we did not see you; that we did not comprehend.
We grieve with you and going forward, we will stand beside you.
No matter your age, biological sex, gender, or where you’re at in your healing journey, it’s possible to recover from sexual trauma.
Here are steps you can take to start healing from childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, or violence as an adult.
It may be challenging, but sharing your story can help begin the healing process. If and when you're comfortable, telling someone what happened to you can be a way to 'own' your experience. You are not defined by what happened to you. The hope for healing comes when survivors tell their stories and are believed. When someone comes forward with a story of sexual abuse/trauma, listen, validate, and believe them.
Do what empowers you. Find things that make you feel powerful and in control. Empowerment may look different to each person, (exercise, singing, changing physical appearance, education, etc). Remind yourself that what happened to you was not your fault and that it’s possible to live fully after surviving any sexual abuse.
Build a strong support network. Identifying the people in your life who support you may be another helpful step toward healing. Make a list of who you can trust and rely on whenever you feel scared, ashamed, guilty, angry, or afraid. Then lean on them. You might also seek safety and comfort from a support group for survivors of sexual abuse. A support group brings together people with a shared experience, which can be validating and empowering.
Ask for help. A trauma-informed therapist can offer you coping tips and skills to help you through your healing journey. Body-focused trauma work such as EMDR and somatic therapy might be helpful. Going through everything alone may hinder your healing process. Find a therapist well-trained in the trauma modality that appeals to you.
What works for one survivor might not work for someone else. But with time, love, support, and kindness to yourself along the way, it’s possible to heal from sexual trauma.
source: https://psychcentral.com/health/healing-from-childhood-sexual-abuse#gather-support
Therapy
Psychology Today website: Find a Therapist or Support Group
The traumatic impacts of sexual assault, in childhood or adulthood, have long-lasting effects in many areas of a person’s life. Many victims repress these events and do not discuss their experiences until years later. However, no matter how much time has passed, discussing what occurred and how it has impacted their life, can help a person to release themselves from shame, learn healthy coping skills, and begin the process of recovery.
If a child has been assaulted, therapy is a particularly important part of the recovery process. The child is certainly struggling to process what happened to them and feels a wide range of emotions about it. Even if a parent invites their child to talk freely about anything, it’s very different to talk to a parent versus a therapist. A child may try to protect a parent by not talking about certain parts of their experience. They also may need to hear from someone outside their family that what they went through was difficult and was not their fault.
A counselor specializing in sexual assault trauma can understand its impact on all parts of life and offer personalized guidance on the recovery journey. Therapy will help the survivor work through their complicated feelings to understand their experiences and move forward with hope and confidence.
Lean into Resources for Survivors
Here are some resources for survivors of sexual abuse:
RAINN’s website or mobile app
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673)
You might also read books about healing from trauma, like:
“The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD
“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz
“Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma” by Stacie Haines
"Boyhood Shadows,” a documentary about men recovering from sexual abuse.
source:https://psychcentral.com/health/healing-from-childhood-sexual-abuse#gather-support
Male Survivors: https://malesurvivor.org/
Vulnerability Hangover Info: https://www.choosingtherapy.com/vulnerability-hangover/
Triggers: https://www.empowersurvivors.net/survivor-blog/childhood-sexual-abuse-triggers
Voices: https://voicesforthetruth.org (External Website)
Source: RAINN
“What do survivor stories mean to you?” Click Here to Read a Collection of Thoughtful Responses.
An advocate can:
listen to your views and concerns
help you explore your options and rights (without pressuring you)
provide information to help you make informed decisions
help you contact relevant people, or contact them on your behalf
accompany you and support you in meetings or appointments
An advocate will not:
give you their personal opinion
solve problems and make decisions for you
make judgements about you
Source: mind.org.uk
Permission to slow down.
Permission to not have it all figured out.
Permission to be unproductive.
Permission to not be perfect.
Sometimes we forget we have agency. Agency is simply the power and the means to take action.
You can slow down.
Stop to question: when I go with the flow, is this flow healthy or even working for me?
So instead of getting carried away with the daily feeling of unspoken expectations and our own high standards of ourselves,
Let’s show ourselves grace and compassion.
Let’s treat ourselves with the same kindness we would show to a weary friend.
Let’s stop looking around for someone or something to tell us it’s okay to rest.
Grant yourself permission.
It is not easy to know who to turn to for help. Finding a therapist who is a fit for you is a huge mountain to climb. Once you are there, maybe it is an even greater mountain to cover that expense. Help is available for your healthy path to healing.
Click Here for Some Therapy Support and Financial Options
We love and appreciate that workers give their lives to spread the gospel, fully intending from the beginning that it will be a lifetime of service. But we understand that sometimes circumstances change and there is no shame in that. There are resources available for those who need to leave the work. Your story is your own and you don’t owe anyone an explanation, just please know there is support available.
Resources for Workers Leaving the Work (External Website - Facebook Page)
Bridges & Balm website: Resting or Transitioning Workers Fund